What kind of guy makes the wife do the yard work?

April 28, 2006

I don’t like mowing the yard, in fact I don’t like any yard work. I know, that’s kinda un-manly and definitely un-American. A well-trimmed, bright green lawn is one of the un-alienable rights they talked about in that there Constitution, right?

But anyway, this year I’ve actually been paying the neighbor’s kid to mow my lawn. I don’t know if I’ll keep doing that all summer long, but so far it’s been amazing. I get to come home and find my lawn magically cut, the edges trimmed, the perfect little suburban yard-scape. And it only costs me $25 each week–the kid earns a little pocket money, I get to avoid mowing the lawn, a definite win-win situation.

The nice part is that it gives me time to do stuff like take an evening walk, which is what I did last night. And I noticed that with the exception of the kid who had just finished my lawn, everybody else I saw pushing a lawnmower was female.

Now tell me, what kind of girly-man makes his wife do the yardwork? That’s supposed to be the man’s job, right? It’s the reason we have a shorter lifespan–spending all that time breathing in gasoline fumes from the dirty little two-stroke engines used in lawn equipment.

It’s just wrong to make the wife push the lawnmower. If these guys aren’t man enough to do the yard, they should do what I’m doing and hire some kid to do the mowing.